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“We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.”
--P.J. O’Rourke
Leo returned home from his long discussion with Paul Kerr. He was disappointed that Jane was not there, because he didn’t feel like doing anything, or even thinking, without her. He could find nothing better to do than to pace and mope until she returned. When she finally did, she came home angry.
“Did you see this?” she asked, thrusting forward a printed flier into his chest.
Leo gently removed it from Jane’s fist, uncrumpled it, and read the title, “An Open Letter to Paul Kerr and the Marxist Misleaders.” Leo tried to suppress a smile.
“Who wrote it?” he asked.
“Some woman who calls herself an environmentalist. I thought you told me that your people and the environmentalists were working closely together!”
“We are. Or at least that’s what I always thought. Wait – maybe this is part of what I wanted to talk to you about. Let’s sit down.”
Once they were close on the tiny couch, Leo felt at last that he could start relieving his anxiety by sharing it. “I think there may be an election coming,” he began. Then he took a deep breath.
“I may as well start with the worst of it: Paul Kerr and the administrators want me to run as a candidate in an election. Paul says there is going to be some kind of a world meeting where they are going to work out some kind of rules for us to live by. He wants the participants to be picked by the people, in an election.”
Jane was not commenting, so he went on: “I guess this flier you picked up is an opening shot from the opposition. I’m kind of glad you got it, because I’d kind of like to know what the issues are, even though I did not, I repeat I did not, tell Paul I would do it. In fact, I told him a dozen or so reasons why I shouldn’t do it, must not do it.
‘Nevertheless, we didn’t really settle it. He thinks maybe that I’ll talk myself into it. Truth be told, the thing that worries me more than anything else is that, if I don’t take this assignment, they might not have anything else for me. I had thought, after the last few months, that I would be given one little dinky faraway assignment after another. I’d be working on the little nuts and bolts of adjusting to a revolutionary situation. The idea of being a Commissioner had kind of grown on me, and I could imagine doing it, especially with you around, for the indefinite future.
‘Now, Paul seems to be insisting that I get right in the middle of everything. I know they don’t have that many people that they trust, and apparently they do trust me, but I’m totally unsuited for this and I told him so. --Can you say something?”
Jane surprised him with her quick comeback. “I think you could handle anything they throw at you.”
“Oh come on. Don’t you think you’re being just a little bit subjective? I guess that if anybody asked me what you could do, I’d probably say you could move mountains, and you could as far as I’m concerned. But asking people to vote for me for to be part of leadership? That’s way beyond anything I could do, or anything I’ve ever even imagined. I don’t even know what the issues would be.”
“Apparently,” Jane’s voice was reassuring, “it’s got something to do with trains and Purina. Read the flier.”
“Paul said I would have to talk to people. He said I would be traveling around and showing myself in public meetings. I’d be doing a lot of interviews like the one I just did – but that was an easy one. The guy liked me for some reason, and I didn’t really want anything. If I had to ask people to vote for me, interviews could get a lot harder.”
“You’re a good listener. I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody who listens as well as you do. Isn’t that politics? Now, as for their not having anything else for you to do – you said yourself that they don’t have that many people they can trust. If you turned this down, they’d still have uses for Commissioner Leo Torres, believe me! But I don’t think you should turn it down. Don’t you trust Paul Kerr’s judgement?”
“I trusted his judgement until today, then he came up with this cockeyed idea.”
Leo couldn’t think of any more arguments. He was glad that Jane took over.
“The first time I met you, I thought you were beyond wonderful. I thought you could walk on water. It was quite some time later before I even realized that you were human like me and like everybody else. But, Leo, the more I see humanity in you, the more important you are. The more I know you, the more I can anticipate what you are likely to do or say, the more I trust you. I imagine that other people would go through that same kind of transition as they got to know you. Truthfully, I don’t know if anybody could be a leader in this awful world, but if anybody could, it’s probably you.”
“I still love you,” Leo said, “but you’re crazy. You and Paul Kerr are both crazy. If I tried this candidate thing, I know I couldn’t do it unless I could check in with you every little while. So, and this is a big question, if I had to travel as a candidate, would you come with me?”
Jane considered carefully, and said, “I know I would back you up in every way possible, but I don’t think I would physically go with you. We could telecommunicate a lot and I would want to do that, but, Leo,” She put her hand tenderly on his arm, “I’m living in the same revolution you are. I see it differently because I have different viewpoints and different abilities, but it’s just as exciting to me as it is to you. I want to deal with it in my own way.”
Leo pulled away imperceptibly.
“I know you love me,” Jane went on, “and I love you and want you to succeed in everything you do. But I have some idea of what the life of a candidate’s wife must be like, and I don’t want to live in anybody’s shadow, not even yours. I’ve been looking at possibilities in education and information technology. That’s where I was today. I’m excited about it, and I think I might be able to make a contribution this way. Everybody I’ve talked to says that a revolution has no chance of success without a humongous educational program. I’m pretty sure that’s what I want to work on while you’re working on providing leadership.”
“We’d still be together?” Leo asked, almost desperately.
“Of course we’d still be together. I just wouldn’t be going on trips with you. We could talk every evening, in fact I would really like that. Now here’s an argument that shifts everything around: if you get elected to this constitutional whatchamacallit, you’d probably be staying here in New York. If I get a job here, we wouldn’t have to worry so much about getting uprooted. That’s a lot better than having you take assignments all over the place, isn’t it?”
“I’d never be elected. This whole idea is like just jumping off the end of the world,” Leo said petulantly.
“You’re getting used to the idea aren’t you?” She smiled warmly, then sealed off the discussion with, “Which do you want more right now, food or sex?”