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Another important lesson about Lille Skole came with the realization that I wasn’t the saint I had hoped to be. There were way too many distractions among the lonely mothers and the young female volunteers who were attracted first to the school and later to me personally. I consistently put ideology ahead of practicality and mired my life with unnecessary battles over sexual freedom and gender equality among adults. One jealous husband, formerly a very good friend of mine, took it on himself to teach me a practical lesson with his belt buckle!
By way of excuse, let me remind readers that I actually believed, at that time, in countercultural ideas. I would have considered it the height of hypocrisy to advocate for caring relationships among people without being especially caring in my own friendships. How could I oppose the straightjackets of middle-class expectations if I didn’t practice experimentation in my own life?
A good friend of mine, a philosophy professor, used the word “radicalized” all the time. He thought I was a paragon of virtue and often said, “Gene has radicalized more people than anyone else.” He meant primarily that I had introduced more people to unrestricted personal relations -- extending far beyond adult/child relations and including extramarital sexual relations, yes and to the very illegal use of marijuana, than other people. This “radicalization,” in his opinion, included the questioning of all authority, certainly of political authority but including any kind of cultural taboo. I reveled in his admiration.
Looking back, I suppose I might have deserved some small part of my friend’s admiration if I had actually known what I was doing. I didn’t of course. It was a work in progress. In my defense I will say that at least I was trying. Right or wrong, I tried mightily!
During those heady Lille Skole years, my wife, who had put up with almost everything else, left me over my insistence that we live communally with others. A few years before, she had married an accountant with a future at Dow Chemical. She was, by then, tied to an apparent madman hell bent on destroying everything.
She took my daughter with her to a safe suburban life. I went a little crazy over that. When she took my daughter out of my school, I finally caved.
I am proud that I lasted 2 ½ years, at least a year longer than the usual free school average, without giving in to pressure at Lille Skole. Being on the wrong course nearly killed me, and I was little short of a desperate madman when it finally ended, but I lasted that long!